Carl Eggers, MFT
Couples & Relationship Counseling

Couples Counseling

Counseling | Family | Individuals

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Carl Eggers, MFT
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--Dick Olney, from Walking in Beauty, 1996

Couples Counseling

In dark times it's easy to lose sight of what's positive. It may alarm you to realize how opinionated and judgmental you've each become  -  about money, about how the two of you spend your time, about your friends, about each other. The smiles are fewer and you argue more than you'd like to admit. The thought of separation or breaking up seems too extreme. After all, you love one another. Straight talk about sensitive problems often leads you no where except to the edge of your side of the bed. Sometimes your partner seems more like a stranger than your best friend. In the midst of life's demands - your relationship, parenthood, career and money - you feel stuck.

Couples Counseling because.....

   you're concerned about the strength and longevity of your relationship

   your relationship is in trouble and you feel powerless to make changes

   you secretly think about separating from your partner

   you desire marriage, but you're not sure if she or he is "the one"

   you are in a committed relationship but crave deeper intimacy

   you long for the old days when your relationship seemed so effortless - when you freely laughed and played together without strain.

Get Beyond Getting By

You may have arrived at a crossroad. Many couples have been there before you - the choice is yours. Some have given up and others have continued to just get by. Another group has said "Let's make this an opportunity to understand our relationship patterns and change them." I believe that committing the time and energy to work on difficulties in the relationship is a good choice for most couples.

Couples Counseling Can Probably Help You

It may surprise you to know that your healthy instincts attract you to a partner who has both the power to wound you and the potential to help you heal yourself. Painful clashes between you may be an important message informing you that your patterns of relating (most likely learned in childhood) are obsolete.

By learning better ways to make your needs and wishes known, listening with less fear and judgement, and initiating changes that work, you can create a relationship that meets your highest expectations.

What Happens in Couples Counseling?

I sit down to talk with the two of you to learn about who you are as individuals, who you are as a couple and the places where you are stuck. From there we begin to develop a context that supports the full expression and exploration of your individual differences as a basis for success in your relationship.

Through the art of negotiation we build an environment that is safe, non-judgmental and friendly. You are treated with sensitivity, equality, kindness, and respect.

You are supported and encouraged to:

   discover and articulate your individual goals

   listen to and hear the grievances of your partner in a way that leads toward understanding, appreciating and accepting the differences that make each of you and your relationship unique

   take practical steps toward change based on new ways of thinking and being

   let go of power struggles, many of which may resemble those with your parents at a time when you were, in fact, powerless

Through Couples Counseling you can expect to develop better ways to get your needs met and to gain some specific tools for talking, listening and interacting in more effective and loving ways. 

Couples | Family | Individuals